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Posted by Piercollo on April 16, 19100 at 08:54:09: You know, I hate to admit I'm wrong, don't W/we all, but right now, I have to hold My hand up and say, of all the P/people on Gor, I'm possibly the 'Wrongest'. Serbitar is dead, killed fairly, killed because He'd forgotten what Gor was about, and more importantly, forgotten who He was and what HE was about. I have taken the name Piercollo, I say that now so that N/none accuse Me of Gaming. I am not Gaming, I am making a new start, and I carry none of Serbitars baggage with Me. I wear the blue of the caste of scribes, I carry no sword, I hold no grudges. All I wish is to be part of Gor and spend time with My girl, vinaya{P}. My girl was a gift from Jason Marshal, a Man I believe I owe Many apologies and also Much Thanks. In killing Serbitar, He didn't do Me any harm, He just gave Me time to consider who I am and whether Serbitar was truly an Assassin by the end of His life anyway. The answer of course is No. Serbitar wasn't an Assassin, He was an extension of My own Male ego, I was using His caste as an excuse to act irrationally, to cover up My own insecurity. That isn't right, and I have no way of undoing what I had become. Online Gor is hard for A/all of Us, but the one thing that I have noticed through My own failings is that it is alright to have failings. W/we all suffer them in Our real lives, why not here. Because W/we are hidden away behind anonomous computer screens, We seem to forget that online is just a reflection of offline. Let Me give You an example. If I met Rollo the Axe in an rt pub, knowing what He looks like and who He is, would I threaten Him, the answer is obviously No. I think We need to pay more attention to how O/our online selves react to others. Consider situations more carefully. Is it wrong for a Rarius to put aside His ego and act scared when an Assassin enters, No, if the Assassin bears the mark, He is justly feared. Is it right for a scribe or a builder to threaten a Rarius, Not really, that is not an action a sane Man would make. Obviously there are exceptions, but what I'm trying to say is that in Our quest to fulfil whatever it is W/we're after online, We often forget that online is merely real life portrayed through a screen, Much like a soap opera, and that our actions online should always reflect that reality which W/we seek. I can only say this because I acted in complete contradiction to what I have just said. I have learned the hard way. I come to Gor, firstly, to see My girl. My love for her transends all else. Secondly, I come to see those that I call freind. I have no need to fight and threaten and sit here at My Ikea desk in England swearing and shouting because My screen has told Me someone threatened Me. Now, I want to be able to relax in the company of those W/who's company I enjoy. I wish to forget the past, put aside My swords (which were just physical reprasentations of My ego anyway) and be at Peace. I hope A/all will allow Me to do this without labelling Me a gamer, and without drawing out the issues of the past. I thank You all for putting up with a short, young, egotistical, bald, somewhat rash Englishman, and hope that now, He can be Himself, so that You may all see the man behind the hood, the heart behind the swords, and the smile behind the scowl. Piercollo
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